30+ sneaky secrets to cultivating irresistible influence over your prospects

This is a post about how to create your own cult.

Not the matching-jumpsuit-and-adidas-hitchhiking-with-aliens kind of cult.

I mean a cult-like and obedient following, loyal and hungry for every word you blog, email, post or tweet? These secret tactics are what allows “gurus” to be able to send one line email promotions that make sales hand over fist. This is how you can get a six-figure pay day by saying “Check this out – AFFILIATE LINK”. This does happen. I’ve done it myself on lists I’ve worked on. It’s as close as you can get to having magic powers.

But it’s not instant, and it’s not overnight. It’s a cumulative effect. It’s the sum of a thousand soft whispers. The money IS in the list. But not how you think. Certainly not how “they” say it is.

It’s not about the content-to-promotion ratio, and it’s not about moving the Free Line. It’s about moving the “friend” line. It’s about expanding the prospect’s circle of trust to include you. It’s about tricking them into hearing YOUR voice repeatedly throughout their own internal dialog about what to think, what to like, and most importantly: what to buy. It’s not just about ENTERING the conversation they are having in their mind. It’s about dominating that conversation. It’s about getting them to do whatever you say, and them being delighted, all thinking it was THEIR idea the whole time.

And what’s miraculous is that the reader doesn’t even have to LIKE you for these tactics to work. The “Rich Jerk” marketing character is a prime example of this. You too can be a jerk and STILL have a ridiculously responsive cult of your very own, for fun or profit, or whatever floats your yacht.

WARNING: These tactics are also the stock-in-trade of con artists, magicians, cult leaders, zealots, seducers, politicians, spin doctors, comedians, and various other people who are pretending to be your friend. They are also the things that a true and genuine friend would do, and really there’s no way to tell who is faking and who isn’t. Especially not once this list gets around. So to be on the safe side, I’m going to go ahead and say that this information is for entertainment purposes only. Use at your own risk. Ignore at your peril!

Why am I giving this away for free? It’s obviously raw material for an info product, right? I’m not doing presale here. This is the whole thing as it exists right now. This is my own list of notes for how I write list content for various employers and clients (and soon myself). Yesterday, I read a good post here by Ken Preuss that linked to a Gary Vaynerchuk video. In the video, Gary says something about thinking of what you would love working hard at every day for the rest of your life and do that.

All I want to do all day, every day is get better and better at tricking people into being my friend so they will buy things when I tell them to. And almost equally as much I want to run my mouth about the same subject, preferably with people who are into the same thing. I want to do this because it sounds way more fun (and easier) than having to get a real job again. I’ve been pretty successful at it so far, making my sole living off of doing this exact stuff for other people. Now I want to TEACH YOU how to do it too. Mainly just to start the conversation and get people talking about this kind of thing.

And even if it makes you feel icky and you don’t want to use this material, consider it a free lesson in Defense Against the Dark Arts. This stuff is in play all around you every day. I didn’t invent it. I just collected it into a handy list with a theme consisting of “words that start with V”. Aren’t I clever?

Enough blah blah blah. Here’s some meat.

When interacting with the prospect:
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1. Verify their perceptions and observations. This can be anything they see while living their life. Maybe it’s specific to the niche, maybe not. Doesn’t matter.

2. Validate their conclusions and feelings about those observations. Tie what they see with how they feel. It’s important to do this inside/outside of the mind dual referencing. It helps anchor the next step.

3. Use this Vantage to insert your own material and exert your influence. If you were telling a joke, this is where the punchline would go. But don’t think your actual info has to connect to the Verification and Validation in any LOGICAL way. It can connect strictly by feeling, and that will work too. “You know what else I hate?”

4. Share Values that draw the prospect closer to you. By values, I mean the things in life that matter to them, whatever they are. Family, duty, patriotism, etc. And note that when I say “share” I mean you share theirs, not the other way around. Adopt them and display them.

5. Decry Villains that thwart your common purpose. Nothing holds a group together better than the outside pressure that a good antagonist can apply. It’s a cliche in popular fiction that’s been beaten to death, right? The band of misfits with nothing in common who come together during trying times to overcome a great evil – storybook, textbook, sure – but effective as all get out.

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I call this group of the first five the “Introduction Induction” because you can use it as a formula for nearly any copy piece. You can safely assume any reader has no idea who you are, and it will still serve to introduce them to who you are, what you’re about, and it’ll start the process of adhering them to you, and growing your influence. But what’s great about the I.I. is that you can use it over and over. In fact, I use it on everything I write. I used it on this post. See if you can tell where (obvious, isn’t it)? This is what I was saying earlier about this being cumulative.

And if you doubt the effectiveness of this pattern, and that it can earn a loyal audience via way of introduction over and over and over again… thing about the Tonight Show. The host gets introduced anew every night. He comments on current events with his own wacky spin. Shares some down-home wisdom. Digs on some politicians. And then makes nicey-nice with the celebrities who are all there for one reason. To hock their wares. This isn’t even taking the commercials into account – the content ITSELF is promotional. And yet, people love those shows, don’t they? Of course they do.

Here’s why the I.I. works the way it does. I believe there are only a handful of classifications that are important when it comes to a person caring what you say or not. They are:

Strangers – people who you don’t know and don’t care about.

Enemies - people you are opposed to and who oppose you.

Tribesmen – any loosely affiliated group you are part of, mostly identified by common enemies.

Friends – people with whom you share values, but not necessarily true feelings.

Family – people with whom you share your inner life, not necessarily only blood relatives – those closest to you, or who have known you the longest

Yourself - everyone’s favorite person!

The trick here is that all of these classifications CAN influence us in various ways. But the sweet spot is to get into the in-between zone that borders “Friends” and “Family” as far as ability to influence goes.

The I.I. eliminates strangerhood, because you see what the prospect sees. You have perceptions in common. It adds you to the prospect’s tribe by establishing common antagonists. It draws you into their friend zone by connecting your values to theirs. And you gain an impression of familial familiarity by sharing feelings and conclusions that they have themselves. It takes your own proposition and firmly places it as coming from inside their own brain instead of from some outsider.

Now, as I said, these are raw materials, so only the first five above are part of a “thing” like the “Introduction Induction”. The rest of these are in no particular order, and are more of a “do these when you can, but always keep them in mind” kind of thing. They do things like strengthen your implanted information, solidify your influence, and position you into the coveted “Alpha Friend” role, where the prospect views you simultaneously as an actual, genuine friend, but also as a celebrity they must admire from afar, because you are so much better than they are. You don’t ever want to come out and say that, but it IS the proper position you want to be in for this pursuit.

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6. Visually present new possibilities. Words on a page do nothing for the memory. Paint a visual picture of the things you want people to remember.

7. Verisimilitude not Realism. – Being realistic is a drag. You want to make the best hopes seem possible and real, even though they may be harder to acquire than you imply.

8. Provide Vicarious experiences they desire and aspire to have. – This can be what some people call “lifestyle porn” but it can also just be anecdotes about day to day life. It all depends on what the PROSPECT wants.

9. Supply Vindication for mistakes and wrongs. – It’s not your fault. We’ll show “them”. They’ll see. Just you wait.

10. Vouch for them. - Listen, I said you were cool, so I can give you this special treat. Don’t tell anyone. It’s just between you and me.

11. Be Vigilant to serve their interests. – I saw this, and I knew it was exactly what you were looking for.

12. Embody Victory as your primary stance. – Carpe the sh*t out of every diem. Failure is only ever as bad as being a losing split test. Everything is a win.

13. Vaccinate against outside influence. – You know that scene in Good Will Hunting where Damon burns that dude over all the predictible books he’s going to cite? That’s what this is like. If you talk about what the competition is talking about, but you do it first, you get that mental real estate. Claim it, or lose it to other people trying to vie for that brainspace.

14. Vote, don’t sell. – When you recommend things, recommend them as being the favored option out of the ones available. You’re voting for the best one there is, not selling a thing in isolation that’s not compared to something else.

15. Venerate Unassailable Authorities. – When you need an example to praise for whatever reason, try to go with someone who is dead or who has an unassailable reputation. Living poster-children can always fall and thus taint all your hard work. But if what you praise are virtues as seen in unassailable “founding father” type figures, you can retain any value establishment work for the long term no matter what happens to short term people you may promote.

16. Vandalize competing ideas. - If I were to say “Bum Marketing is great for the beginner who doesn’t have the resources to start something serious yet” you will have an idea of what I mean. Damn with faint praise. You don’t have to slam anything directly. In the same way that you issue “votes” for mild recommendations, these are like votes against.

17. Confide Vulnerabilities. – aka Damaging Admissions. Me for example? I’m not actually that good at writing sales copy. I’m decent. Fortunately, I’m REALLY good at writing promotions that make people skip over my terrible salesletters and go straight to checkout. Vulnerabilites make you human, and thus more connectable.

18. Be a Visionary. - I mean this in the sense of being someone who makes predictions about the future. You are a distiller and distributor of hope, and hope comes from the future. Everyone wants to know what’s going to happen, so tell them. No one really bothers much to call people out on bad predictions. They just respect people bold enough to try.

19. Vocalize unspoken concerns. – If someone’s feeling uneasy about something and you confirm it before they could even put their finger on the feeling, that person begins to rely on you – to TRUST you – to know how they are feeling ALL the time. They assume that you do. That’s powerful and priceless.

20. Attain Volume through modality. - I mean volume as in taking up space in 3 dimensions. Modality as media – become real to the senses with photos, video, audio, etc.

21. Respond with Velocity - Be fast to address important news and reply to contacts (when possible) with great speed. Even if it’s just to say “I’m too busy to respond right this minute.”

22. Occupy a unique Void. – It’s less important to define what you are than it is to carve out a unique niche for yourself by saying what you’re NOT. I’m NOT a guru. I’m NOT out there to sell you a bait-and-switch, free-plus-shipping trick. I’m NOT all about empty hype. I’m about the CONNECTIONS between people. Make sense?

23. Display Versatility- Provide evidence that you are a jack of all trades in your niche. For example, I know WordPress, SEO, Blogging, PPC, CPA, etc. I’m not an expert in all, but I know enough to talk about any, or promote any, etc.

24. Demonstrate Virtuosity - In addition to showing many related skills, you want to really have an area of speciality – an area where your knowledge is very deep as well as broad. Be a demonstrable expert. Be able to talk extemporaneously about your chosen mastery.

25. Utilize true Voice - Communicate the way you really talk. Simple, but almost no one writes the way the want to sound. Or else they don’t follow through and speak the way they write. Be consistent. Have a Voice with a Capital “V”.

26. Maintain Veracity- Don’t go making crazy claims that can be debunked or refuted. Stay true and be real. Like Judge Judy says, you don’t have to struggle to keep your story straight if you don’t tell lies to begin with.

27. Volunteer secrets - Like this whole post, for example.

28. Encourage Virtues- Virtues are the behaviors that are going to move your prospect closer to their goals.

29. Punish Vices- Discourage the bad habits that will keep your prospects from success.

30. Be Violent with laziness – Laziness is a special case, apart from other vices. Be especially violent with laziness because everyone has it, but no one wants it. If laziness keeps them from success, and you are regularly violent against the very thought, they will NOT blame you for their failure. They’ll blame themselves, and feel guilty, and hopefully remain enrolled and not refund.

31. Eliminate Vestigal concepts – people only have so much room in their heads. Save them brainpower by telling them what in your niche they can safely ignore. Debunk crap. They will thank you by filling the gaps you create with thoughts of you.

32. Act as Viceroy- A viceroy is like a governer who rules an area at the service of the king. Like vice-royalty, see? The prospect is your king. Your job is to work that niche for them and give them maximum value in return for staying in their good graces. I find keeping this mental outlook is really useful for maintaining the proper tone. And if you act this way all the time, like you’re busting ass to produce and deliver stuff to them, the LEAST they will feel like they can do is LIKE you. Which is the whole point of the exercise.

And that’s all I have right now, the beginning of I don’t know – something. Cobbled from 4+ years of doing this stuff for others, and about 6 months of actively thinking of a way to present it that makes sense and can actually be shared. I hope I succeeded even though there’s a lot of detail I’m sure I’m missing.

Please don’t let me take understanding for granted. If I can clarify any part of any of this let me know. If you hate it and it sucks, let me know. If you’re scared of me now that I’ve revealed my evil jedi powers, don’t be.

This stuff works. Use it. Or don’t, but at least be aware of when it’s being used on you. Which is constantly. Thanks in advance for any feedback!

Note: I originally posted a draft of this in the Warrior Forum, people seemed to like it, so I’m re-posting here.

Tags: secrets, villains